When Aliens Attack, More Often Than Usual
by Queen of the Castle
Summary: When a masked man dressed entirely in TARDIS blue showed up unexpectedly at the latest invasion, with a heap of handy gadgets and a seemingly massive ego in his arsenal, Rose wasn't fooled for a second. Rose/Ten II


Author's Notes: Written for Then Theres Us Challenge 83. There's something wrong with my brain that I don't find this premise _completely_ crack-tastic.

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><p><strong>When Aliens Attack (More Often Than Usual)<strong>

Rose had always doubted that the Doctor just accidentally stumbled upon so many alien invasions. It was fair enough when they'd been specifically taking the TARDIS for a spin, looking for a bit of fun. But they couldn't seem to stay out of trouble even when they were just minding their own business doing ordinary things, like visiting her Mum, or spending the day lazing on a beach somewhere, or even just going on a milk run to the local (relatively speaking, of course) store. Rose had a sneaking suspicion that, actually, the aliens were attracted to the Doctor himself.

Well, Rose could hardly blame them. He was fairly irresistible (if he did frequently say so himself).

She got her proof that danger actually followed the Doctor when the beach in the middle of nowhere in Norway, on which they'd just been stranded, literally came alive beneath their feet. They'd barely been there for five minutes and already they were being attacked by an army of aliens masquerading as harmless grains of sand. That was no coincidence. What aliens in their right minds would bother taking over Norway, unless there was something particular luring them there?

It quickly became clear that the aliens weren't going to be willing to just go on their own way peacefully. The Doctor vanquished them by using sonic vibrations to create a wave of water large enough to wash them all away before they could dispatch the Doctor, Rose and Jackie and then move onto the rest of the human race. It was just as well he'd swiped the screwdriver sometime before they'd been dumped here, Rose thought. She wondered what else he'd stashed in those bigger-on-the-inside pockets of his.

Jackie voiced Rose's own thoughts, accusing the Doctor of bringing danger back to this universe with him.

"They were drawn here by the fluctuations caused by the gaps between universes," the Doctor said defensively.

Yeah right, Rose thought. She didn't believe a word he said, and wondered whether he did either.

* * *

><p>The Zeppelin Pete sent to collect them from Norway wasn't ambushed by a spaceship on their way back to London, but that was clearly about all the respite they were going to be given. Rose didn't even have time to take a proper nap, let alone get used to the idea that a half-human Doctor grown out of a spare hand was right there in that other universe with her and seemed determined to stay that way. Not twenty minutes after they arrived back in London, they were facing down yet another threat, this time in the middle of Piccadilly Circus.<p>

Eight people died, and a number of others were injured. Traffic in London came to a complete standstill, as did the public transport. There was panic in the streets, even miles away from the epicentre.

It wasn't that she blamed him for those things, of course, but she had to wonder. With her arms crossed pointedly over her chest, she asked, "So what was that you were sayin' about it just bein' the closin' gaps or whatever?"

"Well, there might have been another crack in London," the Doctor pointed out. "Possibly. Maybe."

"You'd think that other Doctor could've dropped us on our doorstep, in that case, instead of in the middle of bloody Norway," Jackie said irritably, brushing a bit of stray rubble from one of the nearby buildings off her jacket. "Then I might've been able to at least have a nice hot bath before goin' through this sort of rubbish all over again."

"You should go home, Mum," Rose said. "I bet Tony's missin' you, and Pete too. I better go check in with Torchwood, I guess. They'll be needin' all hands on deck after this drama. They're never gonna let me hear the end of bein' back here after all. They got me goin' away gifts and everythin'. It's gonna be shameful.

"C'mon, mister," she added, grabbing the Doctor's hand (that weird hand that he'd _grown out of_, she remembered; that was surreal). "No way you're gonna stick me with the job of goin' back there and explainin' all this alone."

The Doctor muttered mutinously about Torchwood the whole long walk, weaving in and out of standstill traffic, to Canary Wharf. He clearly still felt more than a little resentment about the part Torchwood had played in setting the Cybermen and Daleks on the other Earth and splitting the two of them up.

He didn't otherwise complain at all about the fact that she wanted him to come with her, though. In fact, he gripped her hand comfortably the whole way and walked with a spring in his step. It was as if just being able to walk beside her was the best thing that had happened to him in ages.

Rose knew the feeling.

* * *

><p>"I don't want to join Torchwood," the Doctor announced when they finally arrived back at Rose's flat quite late in the evening. He sounded exhausted. Though his new human-ish physiology probably played a part in that (Lord knew Rose herself was nearly keeling over), Rose thought it was more down to him having to deal with her Torchwood superiors and almost endless paperwork and the media that had gathered out the front of the building that had really got to him.<p>

"I mean," the Doctor said, "I know I've signed up for the life with the windows and carpets and job and," he shuddered, "_mortgage_, but I also know that I don't want to spend any more time in that place than I have to."

"That's all right," Rose said. "Brand new start. You can do anythin' you like. You don't have to work there just because I do."

"But I want to spend my time with you," the Doctor insisted. "I want to make up for all that lost time. I wasn't joking about spending this one life of mine with you."

Rose smiled warmly at that. "I wouldn't worry too much," she said. "I'm guessin' we're about to see a huge increase in alien invasions now that you're here, and I can't see you not gettin' involved. I bet we'll spend half our days together even if you don't officially work with me. You'll see."

"I keep telling you it's not my fault," the Doctor said. "It just so happens that London is a favourite spot for alien invasions."

"And Norway suddenly is as well?" Rose asked.

"Well... would you believe parallel world, parallel invasion points?"

Rose made it very clear that he was going to have to come up with a better story than that.

Rose then made up the bed in the spare room for him. They'd have to discuss jobs and the potential of sharing a room (not to mention a bed) and all of those other mind-bendingly exhausting things some other time.

For now, she just wanted to get a little sleep before the next invasion inevitably hit.

* * *

><p>The Doctor couldn't really keep denying that his presence was drawing the aliens in after the sixteen alien encounters, including three large-scale invasions, that took place in the greater London area in the space of less than a month following their arrival.<p>

Torchwood was run off their feet. Even though they were hiring masses of new staff, figuring this sudden upturn in alien activity was likely going to continue, for the moment they were all untrained and therefore useless.

It wasn't going to be enough. They needed help.

When a masked man dressed entirely in TARDIS blue showed up unexpectedly at the latest invasion, with a heap of handy gadgets and a seemingly massive ego in his arsenal, Rose wasn't fooled for a second. If nothing else, the wild hair would have given him away in seconds. Regardless, she was very glad to see him, since she'd found herself backed into a corner and could really use a hand getting herself out of this particular scrape.

When the aliens retreated with their tails literally between their legs, Rose found herself in the Doctor's arms, the two of them sharing a relieved hug.

This wasn't exactly how she'd imagined it, Rose had to admit, but she'd been waiting far too long already for a repeat of what happened on the beach to really mind going slightly off-script.

She kissed him, using her grip on his cape to pull him in close to her. It was just as well that he'd chosen a mask that left the lower half of his face uncovered. Rose foresaw quite a lot of post-battle snogging in their future, now that they'd set something of a precedent.

"Hey you. Thanks," she murmured. "The whole swoopin' in to save the day at the last minute was well done. You're way too skinny to pull off the superhero outfit, though," Rose told him.

"I look dashing and you know it," the Doctor said indignantly.

Rose snorted, but didn't have time to further comment. The call came over that one of the members of her Torchwood team had apparently been injured. She had to go help.

"Be seein' you soon," Rose said.

"Count on it," he promised. He turned to leave, his cape flaring around him, but then turned back and asked, "Want me to pick up some Chinese for dinner tonight?"

Rose supposed that it made sense that the Doctor's particular brand of domesticity was still just a little bit crazy.

"You do that," she giggled.

The Doctor saluted Rose and the crowd that had gathered around to gawk at them, then literally took off.

Huh, Rose thought. She'd wondered what he'd been working on that had required him to reduce most of her household appliances down to their components. She didn't think she'd have ever guessed it was a jet pack if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, though. She was going to have to remind him to be careful not to let it set his cape on fire.

"Who was that masked man?" some busty brunette woman asked breathily as she watched the Doctor disappear between two tall buildings.

Rose rolled her eyes. "It figures he'd attract _that_ cliché," she muttered.

The Doctor had just better not get any ideas about having adoring fans or _groupies_, that was all she was saying. He was taken, thank you very much.

* * *

><p>"You know, I get that we need someone out there defendin' the world, 'cause clearly Torchwood's not quite gettin' the job done. But you could've just shown up as yourself," Rose told him when she got back to the flat that night. "You didn't need to be all dramatic and dress up as... what's your superhero name supposed to be, anyways?"<p>

"Rose," the Doctor said, "this isn't like when we had the TARDIS and could flit off as soon as everything was said and done. We live here. People can find out exactly _where_ we live, if they don't already know. There's a reason all those comic book characters have secret identities. I don't want to put you in danger."

"Hey, I work for Torchwood," Rose argued. "I'm already in danger."

"I know," the Doctor said. "But while you and I know that place would fall apart without you there to keep the rest of them in line and point them in the right direction, to an alien race you seem like just one of hundreds of employees. But people in this universe have no idea who 'the Doctor' is. If they did, I'd be singling you out as someone they could use to hurt me."

"You're not gonna try and tell me you can't be with me for my own good, are you?" Rose asked. "'Cause we've been down that road before, and you know exactly where you can shove that idea."

"No," the Doctor said quickly. "No. Definitely not. No. I've learned my lesson. The other me was right; I _need_ you. You're going to have to move to another galaxy completely to keep me away, and even then I'll make sure to quickly find a way to follow you."

"That's sweet," Rose said. "Oddly stalker-ish, but still sweet. Same goes for you."

"Yes," the Doctor said seriously. "You've already proven what you're willing to go through."

"Well I'll tell you right now one thing I'm _not_ gonna do, so don't even try askin'. There's no way I'm gonna become your superhero sidekick," Rose said. "I mean, I bet I'd look great in a leather bodysuit and all, but I'm not playin' second-fiddle. I think we're past that by now, don't you?"

The Doctor seemed to be too stuck on the words 'leather bodysuit' to have heard the rest of what she'd said. Rose thought he might even be salivating a little. She'd have to remember that for future reference. For now, she clicked her fingers in front of his eyes to snap him back to attention.

"I was listening," he claimed, his voice squeaking slightly.

"What did I just say, then?" Rose asked.

"Um... something about leather and playing? And not that I'm not intrigued, but there's a time and a –"

"Oi," Rose interrupted, "I'm not the one with the mind in the gutter here. What I said was that I'm not gonna be your sidekick."

"Oh," said the Doctor. "I could've sworn... Never mind. You'd never be just a sidekick, Rose. We could be equal partners, if that's what you want."

Rose considered it. It would be pretty cool to have a jet pack to call her very own.

"I'll think about it," Rose promised. "For now, how about I be your inside woman at Torchwood?"

"Ooh, like a spy," the Doctor said, seeming excited by that prospect. "Rose Tyler, Inter-universal Woman of Mystery. I like it. Just one thing, though."

"What's that?" she asked.

"Do you think Torchwood would let you wear a skin-tight leather outfit to work?"

~FIN~


End file.
